2 Apr 2016

The Water Diet ... and others I've tried

The Water Diet
The water diet is not a diet in any conventional sense. Its title is not even correct.

You are not expected to only exist on water. However, I have named the water diet as such because drinking water, and nothing else, turned out to be a key to weight loss. A totally unexpected weight loss because I was not intentionally trying to diet.
I was due to take some exams over three consecutive weekends and made the decision to not drink alcohol until I had finished the course. Just simply stopping alcohol still left me with unwelcome options. What should I have instead? So I decided to keep things simple. I would only drink water. No coffee or tea. No soft drinks. Just water. Still water at that, not sparkling.
There were three interesting by-products of this diet. 

  1. Contrary to popular belief, water is not tasteless. Over the course of the three weeks, my palette became quite refined and there is a surprising difference of taste between different water.
  2. I lost weight and my stomach became flatter. Amazing!
  3. Once the exams were finished I went to the pub and managed to get pissed on just one pint!   
So, in the space of three weeks, I'd developed better taste, got a flatter stomach and become a cheap date. I highly recommend the water diet. 
The BORED Diet
One of my favourite diets, especially easy for me to stick to. On this diet, you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want it. The only hard and fast rule is that you drink a Bottle Of Red Every Day. This is an easy diet to follow unfortunately there is absolutely no weight loss gained as a consequence. 
A very similar diet to the above involves drinking a bottle of Rosé every day. If you find yourself watching reruns of Downton Abbey and yearning to own a chihuahua you’ve probably been on it for too long. 
The Red version is definitely my favourite.

The BOWED Diet
Yes, you’ve guessed it. Same as above but a bottle of refreshing white wine every day. Preferably a crisp New Zealand Sauv Blanc. A lovely summer alternative perhaps to the BORED diet.
NB Substituting a bottle of spirits for wine is definitely not recommended. Tommy Cooper went on a whisky diet once and before he knew it he'd lost 3 days. 
The Leftover diet
This is a diet that is popular amongst parents of small children and people who endured rationing following WWII.
Prepare food for your children in the normal way. At the end of the meal collect all of the food that is leftover and put it onto one plate. This becomes your meal. You may want to re-heat this in the microwave. 
What’s your favourite diet?